Is To Surrender To Admit Defeat?
I’ve been a little quiet on my blog for the last couple of weeks. I think it’s been a time of self-reflection as well as writer’s block! Nearing the end of August life still seems a little uncertain in the world we are living in and in my personal world. Given that double whammy, it is sometimes hard to feel inspired!
Anyway if you are like me, I start to spiral down then something comes along to perk me up again and resume life’s cycle. This weekend I attended a Mind, Body, and Soul Summit online. There were many wonderful and inspiring teachers, talks and meditations and a couple stood out for me. One was Sue Ashworth from Authentic Smile. You can check out her site here.
She did a lovely meditation and also talked about surrender and acceptance. I have heard this on several occasions, and once or twice tried to go with this. As Sue herself says, being an ex ‘Controller’ as she admits she was, and I know I am, this is very hard to do. I also keep questioning whether to surrender and accept what is, is to admit defeat with ourselves and our situations. And so I have this constant debate in my head which defeats all hope of surrendering!
To Surrender
Sue took us through a lovely meditation and talked about how learning to surrender will give us more inner peace and acceptance. Sue says to journal/write down some aspects which are holding us back from our surrender. In order to surrender we have to learn to trust ourselves and trust in our faith (whether that is the Universe, God, Religion, or whatever). She also says we can not go back and change what was but we can choose to go forward and do things differently. We need to let go of our:-
- Fears
- Frustrations
- Anger
- Judgments/Blame
- Sadness or Loss
- Feelings
It is not the first time I have let go of my fears. I also did this during my Spiritual Meditation sessions. It was good to revisit these fears, which actually are a little different to a year or so ago but still apparent. Some of them being seen as failing, underachieving, and stepping out of my comfort zone.
I continued with writing down my frustrations, what made me feel angry? who was I blaming? I also wrote down sadness/loss (which seemed apt as only last week my daughter was in despair with me saying she had lost her ‘mum’ and wanted the old me back. This made me sad – I wish I could be happier but I am still work in progress!). Sue took us through a meditation to release all these feelings. To not only accept but to feel stronger. And by acknowledging what is, is meant to be.
Conclusion
I am able to replay the meditation for the next 30 days as part of the summit. It may help me on my next step into the future of finding my new abode as the time has come to move on and leave my Mum & Dad in peace. It’s been a good arrangement during lockdown but the bungalow is small and I fear the relationship between my mum and I is suffering because of it.
Sue pulled 2 cards from her card deck ‘ I AM Power Truth Cards‘ which had some lovely words to them.
The Acceptance Card
Dear Acceptance, you helped me to see the beauty that is already within. I accept myself for who I really am. I am perfectly imperfect and I accept myself just as I am.
The Surrender Card
Dear Surrender, Have faith in what I am surrendering to and the more I surrender to it the better my life flows. I am in constant state of surrender with my faith and higher power.
I shall continue my quest to find this inner peace/happiness. It is always fascinating reading and hearing about other people’s journeys and what their turning point was. Sometimes it is a major trauma or health issue. Often depression and state of mind. Maybe I question too much and my expectations exceed possibilities.
The one thing I have observed is you can rarely do it alone. You need your family and true friends’ support, their patience and without a doubt their financial support where possible. I rarely believe you can rebuild your life out of nothing (maybe a few exceptions but having analyzed many life stories they often don’t ring true). Oops, am I coming off my surrender and acceptance thought pattern again!
