5 Things to Consider After Leaving A Relationship

original post November 2018…..

What You Might Want To Consider

1. Where Are You Going To Live?

If you are starting over and fortunate to have family/friends you can stay with, then great! – Realistically you will need your own place.  Otherwise your belongings will have to be sold or put into a storage unit which will cost you at least a couple of hundred a month.

On my return from France, after searching the rental market long and hard, I managed to find somewhere pet friendly.  My dog ‘Ollie’ had been staying with my elderly parents.  Not many places accept pets so I was lucky to find a little house close to my mum & dad.

I was nervous about the Credit Checks which took several weeks to process but basically if you can:-

  • Provide 6 months advance rent (Yes ideally plan to save some money before you decide to leave your partner where possible – or see if you can cash in a work pension early – which I had to do!).
  • Provide an additional Deposit (Usually equivalent to one/two months rent).
  • Some form/proof of earnings.  This you might have to be a little ‘imaginative’ with.  Being termed as still Self-Employed I was able to wing it a little.  You’re not likely to get a reference from your ex even though you may have helped with the admin of his business!
  • Two References
  • You have a 6 month time frame to start sorting yourself out

2. Mode Of Transport?

You might already have this but I needed to get myself a cheap car.  Beware if you were put onto a partners business/fleet insurance as part of your conjugal commitment as you will have lost all your previous No Claims Bonus after two years.  You will then be classed as a new driver and be quoted as such i.e £1800 – £2000 for your Car Insurance.

I managed to be put onto my father’s insurance as a Named Driver which does reduce this cost, but will still be double the amount you would normally pay.  In effect I am classed as more of a risk than my 83 year old father even though I have had my license for over 36 years!

3. Finance?

Make sure you have or have kept your own private Bank/Building Society Account.  It makes it so much easier for the transition. (You may have been advised to close down all your previous accounts in your own name as part of your marriage/partnership arrangement).

Sort out any credit card debts and transfer to a 0% interest offer where possible.  It’s time to take back control of any money issues.  There is no Knight in Shining armour!

4. Work?

If you are needing to find a job to fully support yourself download some of the job apps like ‘Indeed Jobs’ or ‘TotalJobs’ – if you have been Self-employed, a Homemaker, Work Partner or Semi-Retired and going back into the work force after years out,  then it may be a bit of a shock.  It is ‘difficult‘ to even get past the first stage of online applications to be considered for an interview – no bearance on our age of course. Try not to feel too intimidated when handing your newly typed CV into any shop advertising for staff.  Yes, they all look under 35. If you do get an interview, sometimes carried out via Skype or Google Duo, they will ask for two to four references (no mean feat).  I think it was four to become a community care worker, with a six month probation period!

5. Survival Mode?

Consider taking a student or part-time lodger to help with your rent.

Contact local Language Schools & check-out online sites like Spareroom.com

Be Brave – it’s going to take you a while to adjust!

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