The Day I Handed Back The Keys

November 21, 2018 suzanne2019 2 Comments

In Return Of My Sanity

The Day I Handed Back The Keys – A Snippet of Where I’m At

It was the end of June 2018 when I finally closed the front door to my old life. The day I handed back the keys to the Letting Agent and squeezed the last of my possessions into the storage unit.

I can’t say it was an easy decision but one that had been building up over a period of time.  I had no real plan other than the time was right.  If I didn’t leave now then I would let that continual fear overtake and continue my  downward spiral.

I’d met my 2nd husband nearly 5 years ago on a dating site.  A whirlwind romance which had caught me off balance.  I think at the time we had both come out of a recent breakup and were clinging for an escapism from our working lives.  Both being Self-Employed and having two grown up children we thought gave us both a similar vibe.

We lived an hour and a half apart so initially I thought it would fizzle out but he came down every weekend.  It was flowers, fine dining, cocktails, and new dresses every weekend. Life seemed exciting – I had never been ‘spoilt’ before.  Previously I had always been the woman watching other couples and thinking ‘how wonderful it would be to be treated’.

After a full on courtship in a matter of months we became engaged.   He would ring me every night at a certain time. I’d make sure I always answered on the dot otherwise he became agitated.

He was always busy,  work was his passion and I felt my own business was of less importance.  After all he was ‘earning so much more money’.  And so I made a decision to close my shop, wind down my business, marry him and move back to his home town.

In a spate of 11 months we had met, become engaged and married.  Yes I should have seen the arm bells ringing.

Fast forward the past 4 years of highs and lows and emotional turmoil, I have found a new place to call home.  I am starting again with a few savings, no proper job, less confidence, less self worth BUT I have my family around me and enough determination to get through this.

Does this resonate with you?

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